Everybody poops. Especially birds.
We all have our own routines.
Our own rituals.
The proper conditions to “do it.”
Some wake up and get it done, not able to focus on anything else until it is taken care of. Some are more adventurous, seeking remote places in the woods—the chance of getting caught is part of the thrill.
It doesn’t matter your preference, because it is a natural fact that you need to do it. As the title of the famous children’s book points out, Everyone Poops. Especially birds.
According to the List of birds of Nebraska Wikipedia page, there are over 450 species of flyers in the Cornhusker state. Let’s discuss the imagined bathroom routines of three fictional featherbottoms…
The Meadowlark.
It’s Nebraska’s state bird, but he does not give a dang! Old Speckles just got done picking at a three-day old hamburger patty in the McDonald’s parking lot off 27th and Vine. He’s like a flying Pez dispenser, dropping everything everywhere all at once. Sometimes on your car, sometimes on the head of a child passing underneath. No malice, that’s just business baby. AND HE’S LOVING IT.
The Robin.
The shy guy. Does not often leave the comfort of his own nest in his own tree. Does his business at home and nowhere else. His tree just so happens to be your tree. Branching out over your Jeep Wrangler. Should have kept the roof on.
The Dove.
Ever walked into a bathroom to answer nature’s call just as the cleaning crew is walking out? An immaculate feeling. So pure. So peaceful. Just like this bird. The dove has the highest of standards, and here she is looking for her version of a freshly cleaned bathroom—a just-washed, sparkling clean Honda Odyssey parked in the church parking lot as you attend 9 o’clock mass. Amen.